nature vs gender neutral

We’re big on gender neutrality. Not as big as some, but we’re very much hoping to give all of our kids the same opportunities to choose their own interests and favourite toys and colours etc for themselves. For us, that means not applying gender definitions to anything. There are no ‘boys’ trucks or ‘girls’ dolls. They’re just trucks and dolls. It means giving equal time to colours and games. While Quin might wear pink top-to-toe one day, she’ll be wearing blue the next. While Quin might be our little princess, she is also the king of the castle.

We always knew we would try to be fair parents, but the strength of our conviction to gender neutrality really ramped up when Shan was pregnant. We were never going to find out the sex of our baby. It just didn’t matter. Neither of us wanted to start applying assumptions or expectations on them before they even took their first breath. They were just our baby.

It was frustrating then when SO MANY people were so focused on what was in there – blue or pink. We lost count of the number of times we were asked – but how will you know what to buy? Without knowing their gender we still managed to make a nursery and buy a wardrobe full of clothes – most of which Quin has worn.

For us, this is easy to do as neither of us is particularly girly or masculine. We’re both pretty well in the middle in our own ways and enjoy a fair mix of dresses, power tools, make-up, bikes, sports and cooking. I guess we just didn’t expect Quin to start showing her own preferences so early.

At 8.5 months old one thing is clear – Quin LOVES dolls. More specifically, she loves babies. So when Shan took Quin shopping for a new walker we really shouldn’t have been surprised in her reaction.

Gender neutral decisions -2

Gender neutral decisions -3

Gender neutral decisions - 1

And so, our daughter now owns a pink baby carriage walker. And she loves it. It may not have been our choice for her, but if we’re going to be parents that let their children choose for themselves then we take whatever comes with it – baby carriage and all!

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3 thoughts on “nature vs gender neutral

  1. I try to do the same with my children and it’s so hard sometimes.
    My Dad doesn’t say anything anymore after I blew up at him about if Dex is going to be gay, it’s not going to be because I let him paint his nails.
    As they get older, it gets harder, with things like Daycare – both children and teachers.
    We are currently searching for a “boy princess” outfit for Dex :s

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  2. My little guy (10 months) has a pink hippo that he loves to bits, he has an identical one in blue but he just isn’t interested in it. My inlaws are completely horrified. We let him play with whatever he wants.

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