be gay, but not in front of me.

i am angry. i am disappointed. i am ashamed. i am a lesbian queenslander who is today a less equal queenslander than i was yesterday. awesome.

today the state government has graciously allowed us to keep civil unions – the registration part at least. but the right to a state sanctioned civil ceremony is being removed.

i can’t help but hear the following play over and over in my head: “what you do in your private life is your business, but i don’t want to see it”. every gay person has heard this statement. i’ve heard this statement. this is exactly what taking away the opportunity to commit to the one you love in a state sanctioned public forum says to me .

i can’t bring myself to listen to the premier’s statement again. i am already too mad. but i would like to know how many times the word ‘christian’ was used. the civil ceremonies are being removed because the christians feel it mimics marriage. you know what? my marriage does not ‘mimic’ marriage – IT IS A MARRIAGE.

i married my wife in october 2009 in vancouver. despite not being recognised in this great country of ours there is nothing fake or pretend or make believe or play about it. i married my wife because i love her. i entered a civil union with her because i care enough about her that i want her protected if anything ever happens to me. we did not have a christian or any other religious-styled union. we just got married. we just got a civil union.

any step that is not toward full equality, and the end of discrimination, is a step backward. LGBTIQ rights took a hit today and there is no way of sugar coating that, no matter how much the state government may try.

they say: you have the right to have your relationship registered, but not to celebrate it with a ceremony.

i hear: be gay, but don’t be gay in front of me.


11 thoughts on “be gay, but not in front of me.

  1. It’s disgusting, and makes me so angry. The British government is consulting on whether or not to allow Civil Marriage for LGBTQ people in the UK too, we have “civil partnerships” but not marriage yet, and the Church of England today lashed out and stated that if gay marriage was allowed “society would suffer and be damage, and children would suffer for generations” They must be on crack. Because its disgusting that they could be so bigoted. Am I a lesser human because I am a lesbian? I don’t think so. I fail to see how two loving parents irrelevant of gender can damage a child. Its abhorrent that they could even be allowed on TV to say such things. The fact that your state is now taking a step back, is a sad affair. Its a bad day for everyone when bigots can influence those in power who can ‘do the right thing’ to do completely the wrong thing.


      • great, can’t wait to read it. We are having a civil partnership in a little over two months, and someone who was a dear friend of mine for 5 years and had never said anything to me about being gay, turned round and said that they disagreed with my marriage about a month ago. I was devastated. he then preached at me for an hour. i couldn’t believe that he could have harboured these thoughts for so long and never said anything.

        Look forward to reading your post 🙂


      • Thanks 🙂 its very stressful!! but looking forward to it!

        No, I listened to what he had to say and tried to reason with him when he was preaching at me. We did have a discussion, but it was fairly one sided and like talking to a brick wall.

        Its just been left now. I saw him at an event the other day, but I wasn’t sure what to say to him. So I didn’t say anything. Was that cowardly? Maybe so, I just don’t know what to say to him now.

        He said he wanted to come to the ceremony anyway but I don’t think I want someone there who doesn’t think that what we are doing is right.

        What do you think?


      • It’s your day and you deserve to celebrate it with people who are actually there to celebrate with you. If it seems like he’s doing you a favour by gracing you with his presence I’d uninvite him. I don’t have a lot of patience for ‘holier-than-though’ attitudes at the moment though.


  2. That is why they are doing it. Registration without a ceremony makes it a mean thing to be hidden away, where a marriage is a beautiful thing to be celebrated. A great deal of joy for the partners and their friends and family, and a little measure of joy for Everyone.

    And Christians object because a civil ceremony looks too much like a religious ceremony. Er, two people make promises to each other then a third pronounces them married. How else could it be done? Don’t mention God, and it stops being religious. God weeps.

    And- Quin! Again a little measure of joy for everyone. Congratulations! I am delighted for you.


    • Thank you for your congrats – we’re pretty stoked with her!

      And yeah it is just pandering. It is frustrating as hell but great change takes time.

      I will be posting a big debate I had with my sister on Facebook tonight. I think you’ll like it.


  3. Pingback: religion v gay – the sisterly debate |

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